There is no time to type a lot right now...I really do promise to keep up soon. Update on the babies: both are right where they should be right now. They will be trying to tweak their liquids (only food they are getting) to help them grow and are constantly repositioning them to ensure they continue to breathe as well as possible. As long as we can keep both up, our understanding is that they will get bigger and stronger.
We spent yesterday morning sitting with them during rounds and I've decided I won't do that again. All the medical language for it to just be about their fluids was scarier than having them tell us again.
In the meantime, everything for me is I improving...which means discharge likely today (Thur). I'm not ready to leave. Leaving means going back to some sort of normal life. Life isn't normal. How can I leave my babies here and go home feeling the same? Ive had such a hard time feeling like their Mommy when I can't even care for them. I can't even produce milk yet to give them...no matter how hard I try...I am overwhelmed by leaving...I've made plans to be just down the road but what good am I there? I just still don't feel like a Mommy and I feel like I'm about to have the only sense that I am one taken away by leaving the birthing pavilion....
Leaving the hospital without my babies was the single hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. No one would understand it unless they have done it...but you are a Mommy...A TWIN MOMMY FOREVER! <3
ReplyDeleteNot sure if you've changed your mind about rounds yet, but we were there for morning and night rounds and we learned so much from it. I actually think it is critical to be there to make sure that the doctors and nurses hear from you each day. They will explain things a million times if you need it - my husband was the king of 50 questions. You'll feel like a doctor by the time you leave!
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