Nurses

After just calling (yes, at 4:30 AM, hey, they encourage it, okay!) Sammy's nurse to check in, I figured I'd do a quick blog on the nurses.

The biggest thing I didn't learn until after Andrew passed was the concept of "primary" nurses.  This has been a lifesaver for my sanity!! Primary nurses mean that when that nurse is on, she will be assigned to my child (I say she because I haven't met a mail ICN nurse yet).  We currently have 1 daytime primary, 1 nighttime primary, and 1 swing/variable shift primary.  We also have 1 "love" (she doesn't get first dibs over a primary, but has priority over someone new) on night shift.  And the good news is that ALL of these nurses have requested primary for Sammy but are also individuals who I would request as primary myself. :)  Very happy with that outcome!  I don't want someone caring for my son that doesn't want to, so it definitely has to be a mutually agreeable thing.

I hope to say all good things about Sammy's nurses since I'd like to share this with them further on down the line. :)  So far I have no negatives! :)

I'm usually a "trust your gut" when it comes to people type person.  For instance, I didn't particularly feel comfortable with the nurse who was with Andrew his last day (day shift).  I didn't know why and I still don't.  I'm still not really sure if it was mother's instinct that things really weren't going well or that the nurse just wasn't the right nurse for Andy.  Either way, she hasn't worked with Sammy since, so I think I'll try to keep it that way...at least 'til he's bigger.  I actually haven't even seen her again since.  On the other hand, the nurse that was with Andy the night he died is the nurse that I still have yet to find again.  She made that most difficult experience as pleasant as is possible under the circumstance...as a result, I really want to ask her if she'd at least be Sammy's love.  But I want to ask her.  I don't know if she'd want to be.  I felt like she was mourning my son almost as much as I was and I don't want her to feel like Sammy is a reminder of that if it makes her uncomfortable.  So my goal is to talk to her and find out if she'd be interested.  It would be helpful in my mind to have another night primary or love.

So nurses - I am in love with the nurses.  They are so much a part of Sammy's care and will be for so long.  And on top of that, they care for me and Cam.  They are all so amazing so far.  I couldn't ask for a better experience.  Cam says he's still trying to remember all their names, but I'm not sure if he's joking or not. Lol!!  Let's put it this way, they can read when I'm upset and feel like we're having a bad day.  They also make sure that they answer all of our questions, especially after rounds.  I feel like it's such a special experience to have my son in the ICN...special in obviously an unexpected and not great way (of course I don't want him there!), but special in the sense that it's a special kind of care.  It definitely takes a special kind of nurse!

Right now, my favorite nurse is his daytime primary.  Immediately after she was in after Andrew died, she voiced her frustration that no one had called to tell her (it was 2 days later!).  That made me feel like she cared so much about my children that she wanted to know about their wellbeing even when she wasn't there.  Ever since, I have really leaned on her.  After my crazy milk meltdown, I asked her about contacting the LC.  She jumped right on and talked to me about my milk.  She got me all kinds of info and helped me when I was pumping by Sammy's bed.  She just made me feel like someone cared about my frustrations with my milk (finally!).  She was a little bit of tough love (you need to pump MORE), but a little bit of compassion (it's okay to be frustrated, we'll work on it).  I just felt like for a few minutes I could take my focus off Sammy, relax knowing she was caring for him, but also relax because she wants to help me do what's best for Sammy.  It made me feel good! :)

His night nurse last night (and tonight) called me yesterday morning before her shift ended to check in and tell me how his night had gone.  Now my heart jumped to my throat when I saw the hospital calling, but after talking to her, I felt better and more relaxed about taking our time to get going to the hospital for the morning.

All around, my experience with nursing staff has been incredible.  I can't believe how incredible.  I even had amazing nurses in the birthing pavilion.  Two in particular that I will be making sure to keep updated on Sammy growing up.  They just made my incredibly emotional stay in BP so much more comfortable and I felt such a connection with them!  I feel so incredibly lucky to have met amazing people so far...and I'm sure I will meet MANY more!