One week post T-Section

I figure I've been updating everyone on Sammy and keep getting questions about how I am doing.  I sometimes have to remember that I was sick and that I had major surgery. I've been so focused on Sammy that I haven't even really remembered!

So I should explain first that I actually had what the OBs referred to as a "T-"Section.  Although I only have the straight line across the bottom of my belly like a normal C-Section, when they cut my uterus, it was actually cut more in a T-shape.  I'm not 100% sure why this is, but was told before my surgery (I vaguely remember) that the type of C-section they were doing would mean that I would always have to have C-sections for any future children.  Of course at the time that was the furthest thing from my mind...and to be honest, I'm not sure that I even remember signing the consent for my surgery, soooo is that like legal? I was so sick and so out of it and all I wanted was to feel better, I just don't remember anything.

This reminds me that I don't think I ever really explained what happened after my surgery to me...or even how my surgery went! Forgive me if I have, but I'll reiterate a bit.  Because of my low platelets, the anesthesiologists really needed to converse with me about any additional medical history that could affect my anesthesia for the surgery.  In my circumstance, I was given the option for a spinal versus general anesthesia.  Because a spinal meant Cam being with me and meant hearing when my babies were actually born (or so I thought), I chose that.  I was terrified up until that moment of a spinal.  To be honest, it really wasn't bad.  The anesthesiologist I had was AMAZING and I can't complain at all.  The downside is that once they had the boys out (the anesthesiologist told me they were both out after they were delivered), I started vomiting and getting extremely light headed.  At that point they told me that I would have at least another 30 minutes before they had me stitched up.  I felt so horrible.  They offered me light anesthesia to put me to sleep for the rest.  With all the pulling and tugging and pressure I could feel as well as feeling so sick, I agreed...again not sure I really remember agreeing, but I did.  At that point, the hope was Cam would go with the boys anyways, so it didn't really matter that I would be asleep.

After my surgery, I got back to my room and Cam was still there.  Nervous wreck.  Partially because I was in surgery without him and partially because he hadn't been to see the boys yet.  I was surprised he wasn't with the boys!  In all actuality, we didn't get to see the boys (either of us) until they were 3 hours old.  We still don't really know why, but it seems that it was because it took so long to stabilize them.

So anyways, that's MY side of the story (other than them just being born which I know I talked about a bit already).

Physical Recovery - I've been taking Motrin during the day and Percocet at night.  I find that getting out of bed when I wake up in the middle of the night is painful but otherwise, I don't really have any pain left.  I've been able to go down to 1-2 Percocet a night and then Motrin 2-3 times a day.  And, actually, today I took Percocet at midnight when I went to bed and then Motrin at 6 when I woke up and that's IT.  I'm going to try taking Motrin tonight before bed instead of Percocet and see how that goes.  It's not even me being brave...I haven't been in pain at all! :)  Yay me!  The initial pain was a bit much...when my nerves started recovering and getting feeling back.  It's a burning feeling...like your stomach is on FIRE.  But the pain meds definitely worked, so that's good! I did need quite a bit of the IV pain meds the day after my surgery, but by the second day I was on orals, so that was good.  And to be honest, I barely wanted out of bed that first day...moving was SO painful!  But my day nurse that day forced me out of bed and by the end of the day (when I was of the mag sulfate), my catheter was out and I was walking to the bathroom on my own. :)  I do have to say that the pain of my C-section was about half that of the pain I had when my liver was swelling.  At least there is relief from the C-section pain with pain meds...no pain meds could curb my pain before my surgery.  :-S

Emotional Recovery - Welllll, this is a different ball game.  Hormones are a crazy crazy thing.  And of course the emotional roller coaster of now being among the NICU moms doesn't help much at all either.  Sammy had a great day today and I still had a complete emotional break down tonight.  I had one earlier today, too thanks to my frustration with pumping (post on that later...maybe when I get up in the middle of the night to pump...).  This has been the craziest ride of my life.  And who cares that the boys were delivered before I was even third trimester...the hormones coming off of being pregnant still suck.  Cam tells me I'm more emotional now than I was when I was pregnant. :-S  I've been thinking too far ahead some (again, more on that soon, too...that constitutes a whole separate post...).  And then other days, I remember Andy.  What's hard is we haven't really mourned Andy because our focus turned to Sammy almost immediately.  So needless to say, I have a lot of emotions that tend to come up surrounding that loss...and it seems like it happens fairly randomly. :-S

Sleeping - I don't sleep much.  Last night I slept 6 hours straight for the first time since the boys were born. :-S  And I didn't pump last night which I'm learning is part of my problem. :-S  UGH!  So now I have an alarm set for every 3-4 hours to pump...again, more on the pumping situation separately....

Eating - I'm finally getting my appetite back now that a) I'm off most of the meds, and b) I'm not as stressed out and worried.  I know I need to get on a better eating schedule soon and that this ALSO can be affecting my pumping...

Relationship - Cam and I are stronger than ever...I can't imagine having a more amazing man in my life to go through this with.  He is wonderful and supportive and understanding.  I know he gets frustrated with my emotions, but I know it's because he doesn't know how to soothe me sometimes.  And also I know it's because he's also dealing with some of the same emotions.  And unlike me, he does have to go back to work because he doesn't get medical leave.  We will be testing those waters soon...  In the meantime, it's been SO wonderful to have him with me this entire time.  We are so lucky he has such an understanding employer.  If he were back at work and I were doing this all on my own right now, I would be even more of a wreck than I already am!  I love my husband more than words can say and seeing him become a dad over the past week has made me love him even more.  I am so very blessed.

So I think that's about it...I probably owe more on the emotional roller coaster piece surrounding a bunch of the other stuff going on besides Sammy being in the NICU, but I figure this is a start!