Stay-At-Home Mom

If there is anything that this experience has taught me it is that I want to be a stay-at-home mom when we do have healthy kids that get to come home with us.  To be completely honest, that is something I NEVER thought you'd hear me say.  I love working.  I love the sense of accomplishment I feel when I am working.  I love my coworkers.  I just never thought I'd even consider being home 100% of the time with my children.  Until the idea of Sammy coming home on O2 that is.  And now not having either of the boys home with me, I realize that I never want to miss a moment with any of my children.  I was with Andy and Sammy almost every minute I could be, and I'm happy that I can say that.  I want to say that for any future children, too.



Now, being home (even without kids) for the past couple of weeks, I've realized that I like it.  I like the sense of accomplishment I get from completing all my laundry.  Okay, let's be honest, I haven't been completely on top of the laundry pile in over a year...the feeling that I only have to do one to two loads of laundry each weekend right now is exciting.  I like the idea that the dishes are always put away because I'm not too tired when I get home to do it.  I enjoy sitting down and completing a crochet project without being too tired to pick up the ball of yarn because I just got home after being gone for 12 hours after work.

I know throwing a child into this mix means some of those things wouldn't happen as timely as they are right now, but I feel like my house is in better shape now than it has been since the day we moved in.  I feel a sense of accomplishment...a different one...than completing a huge project at work.  Don't get me wrong, I still love my job and my coworkers, and until I have a reason to stay home 100% of the time, then I'll still go back and enjoy it, but when the time comes, this is what I want.  It's become my new dream.

The biggest obstacle to this dream right now is that we live a very comfortable lifestyle because of having two incomes.  It's nice to go to the store and not worry about brand vs. non-brand.  To not HAVE to coupon clip unless I'm feeling entirely bored and interested in doing so.  To be able to go out to dinner and not worry that we're spending money that we could spend on something else we need.  To be able to buy nice gifts for each other and friends and family.  We're able to have our beautiful menagerie of pets and enjoy them, providing them everything they need.  And in a sense, I know that if I were a stay-at-home mom, we may not be able to provide the level of "comfort" for our kids that would be nice, but I feel like the emotional and mental benefit to me and to our children that we could provide if I were staying at home would far outweigh the benefit of the money.  I'm willing to make cuts wherever necessary to make this happen.  I'd be happy to coupon and to buy non-name brand just to have this opportunity.

One other life lesson that this experience has taught me it's that money is such a little tiny part of life.  I don't care about it anymore.  Now if only it didn't make the world go 'round right?  I sell Scentsy which I could easily continue to do if I left my full-time job.  And I love to craft.  One of the dreams I'm working toward is planning how to get an Etsy shop up and going so that I could make money that way, too.  If I could just make enough between Etsy and Scentsy, I think we'd still be able to lead our somewhat comfortable lifestyle with fewer cut backs.  And it would take so little effort and I'd be making money doing things I love.  Again, that's not to say that I don't love my job.  I love spreadsheets and analysis.  I love working with people on a daily basis, but it's not the same as truly doing something you love.  If there weren't so many photography businesses around our small little town, I'd probably go back to that, but it's not worth the competition!  Maybe I'll just use some of my photos as part of my Etsy shop ideas.  We will see!  Right now I'm working on Christmas ornaments and I think that will be my first addition to my Etsy shop, but not until I have more stuff to add, too. :)  I plan on doing everything I possibly can to be healthy and make my dream family come true.  I think my therapist said it best yesterday...I'm a determined individual and once I set my mind to something, I will make sure it happens, however that is.  Even if it's not according to plan, I'll find a way.