Capture Your Grief: Day 4

Today's Capture Your Grief task is:

Day 4. Most Treasured Item Something that relates to your baby/ies/child/ren. Maybe it is their hand and foot prints or a photograph. Whatever it is we would love to see it.

I can't bring myself to go through the boys memory boxes and all their stuff right now, so I will attach the scans I took of their footprints when trying to design a tattoo (Thank you Uncle Matt for helping us with this!). 

We never got foot and hand prints in ink for Andrew, but we did get clay impressions.  That meant a lot to me, too though.  They will be placed in a shadow box in an honored place in our home when we have figured that all out.  And when those shadow boxes are designed and displayed, I think that compilation of everything will be my most treasured item, but right now, the impressions mean the world to me...

Sammy's primary nurse, Amy, used Sammy's free foot to take a print at about 10 days old, so we do have a footprint of his.  We also will have the foot and hand impressions once I pick them up from the hospital.  I think the impressions are the sweetest thing...it just makes the boys feel so much more real.  They were physically here because they had to be to have the impressions made.  And it's something their body touched...something that I can touch to feel exactly what their feet or hands felt like and to feel close to them...something they touched...even if it was after they passed away. *sigh*  This is the footprint we have of Sammy's.

It's so funny to look at the two boys foot imprints.  Both boys had ticklish feet like me.  But you look at Sammy's and I just laugh because he had the long toes like me.  Andy had much shorter little toes like Cam.  Sammy even had the long slender fingers like me and Andy had shorter fingers.  It makes me smile because looks wise, Sammy's face and everything about him is Camden.  When I look at the one picture I have of Andrew's face (we're still waiting on pictures from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep), he looks much more like me.  They still look alike, but their features were just so different.  True fraternal twins.  I just remember looking at them when I held them after...memorizing EVERYTHING about them...it's still so fresh in my memory now but I feel as though that will fade and I'll forget, like I'll have to look at the pictures to remember what they looked like.  But then I look at the imprints above and I think that that will bring it all back in my memory every time...

I miss them every minute of every day.......