"Capture Your Grief" Project

In case you didn't know, October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  October 15 is Worldwide Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  I haven't quite yet determined what I will do for my boys in my home.  However, the one thing I know I will do is light a candle for each of my boys.  The event is to light it at 7:00 PM, but I think I will light the candles when I get up in the morning and keep them burning.  I am going to go hunt down some pretty candles just for them even though I have plenty of others, they deserve their own special ones.  Guess I'll have to get brave enough to get out to the store...I have 13 days...

Thanks to my beautiful friend Jana's blog at Keeping Up with the Kimmels, I found this awesome project called "Capture your Grief" posted by Carly Marie in honor of the awareness month.

I missed yesterday's :(  But it was the following:

Day 1. Sunrise I thought it would be sweet for us all to capture the beginning of this beautiful project and important month by us all getting up early to photograph the sunrise from wherever we are in the world. I know depending on where you are and what climate you are in that there may not be a sunrise, but if you can still get to a window, snap a photo of the morning! When you share your photo online make sure you write what State/Country you are in and the time of the sunrise {just for fun!}

I wish I had known, I would have definitely done it.  Getting up for a sunrise would have been a refreshing thing to do.  Would have made me feel refreshed in a way.  Like a new day and a new hope...

Oh well, I'll move on and start with Day 2:

Day 2. Before Loss Self Portrait Share a photo of you before your loss. You could share a drawing/skecth or painting you have done if you would prefer that!

This is the last picture I have of me before the boys were born, taken in late July...enjoying our camp on the lake.  My mother-in-law gave me the beautiful and comfortable dress.  I wore it so much while I was pregnant just for something cool to wear...easy to slip on and off.  I don't know, I think I will always relate all of my maternity clothes to being pregnant with the boys, so as much so I want to keep them because I LOVE them all...in case I have a future pregnancy...I'm tempted to get rid of them and start over.  I feel like maybe the clothes have bad juju? I don't know...I'm crazy, I know.  I think I'll change my mind eventually.  Plus, who knows, if I keep this 30 pounds I've lost off, I may not even be able to wear ANY of my clothes again anyways, even the pre-pregnancy ones...shopping spree maybe?