Capture Your Grief Catch-up

I'm so far behind on the Capture Your Grief Project right now!!  I'm going to try to get caught up tonight before going back to my projects...then I do owe another post soon....

Day 24. Siblings This could be done two ways – your could photograph your own siblings and post about how grief has affect them or you can post about your other living children. I know that not everyone has living children but I felt it was important to include the children who are left here to grieve their brothers and sisters. Capture a sibling, niece or nephew’s grief. Maybe you could share a drawing they have done or even just a photo of them holding something that represents their brother or sister that they are missing. Give them a voice here.

So our children don't have siblings.  Sammy and Andy were our only children. :(  Our first and only.  Right now we're not sure how we will pursue bringing their siblings into our family.  We're looking at information on adoption and are really ruminating on whether we are going to have another pregnancy or not.  More on that later...

I don't have any siblings, but Cam has an older brother.  Being the only sibling, we are close to him.  He got to meet Sammy which made me feel better.  To know that he got to at least meet Sammy.  I hope that he feels the same!

Day 25. Baby Shower/Blessing Share a photo from your baby shower or blessing. Maybe you could show everyone the gifts you received that you were not able to use.

 I never got a baby shower...we got a few nice gifts from family and friends around the time we found out we were having boys or when they were born.  We only got to use a very very few.  Namely, a blanket my cousins gave us was what Sammy was wrapped in when we held him.  That blanket will be placed in the memory chest since it was HIS.  No other children of ours will get to use it.  It will forever be Sammy's blanket.  But many of the other gifts (of the few) we received were never used and we never associated with the boys, so we will save those for future children.

Day 26. Their Age How old was your baby/ies/child/ren when they died. Write it down on a piece of paper. If they died whilst you were pregnant you can write their gestation.

The boys were 24 weeks, 3 days when they were born.  Andrew was 3 days old, or 24 6/7 weeks gestation.  Sammy was 22 days or 27 4/7 weeks gestation.  So little...so underdeveloped...they both struggled so much! :( :(  I wish I could have hit my goal of 28 weeks...they would have had such a better chance...it would have still been a struggle, but they would have had a better shot at least....I'm still so angry that my body couldn't give me that...

Day 27. Artwork Share some artwork that reminds you of your baby/ies/child/ren or something that was created for them by you or someone else.

I have two small hats that the boys' grandmother made them.  They are so tiny and sweet...I will post a picture at a later date.  The unfortunate thing with this project is that all of my emotions are so raw that going through the boys' things to take photos is very difficult.  I hope when I do this project again next year I will feel better about doing these things......one day at a time...