Day 12: Article and Day 13: Book

I figured these two went together pretty well, so why not post together.  Both are in regards to reading that helped in my grief journey.

I have fallen in love with TED Talks over my business career.  I think they are interesting and extremely educational.  When I found this article, to find that it also had a TED Talk that talked about grief was pretty awesome.  The article itself also resonated

http://stillstandingmag.com/2013/06/pardon-my-grief/

The problem is that so many people just dismiss grief because it makes them uncomfortable.  As a result, I, as a grieving parent, am left uncomfortable when I tell you my baby died.  I understand people don't know what to say and that makes them uncomfortable.  But multiply that times 1,000,000 and that's about how uncomfortable I am.  Every second.  Every day.  365 days a year.

What's worse is people no longer talk to me.  They don't know how.  So they just don't.  That's worse.  It's the worst thing.  And just yet another grieving process I have to deal with.  Losing friends has probably been harder some days than the loss of my boys because I need them.  But I'm starting to learn that those that are really my friends haven't gone anywhere.  So for those that are still here.  Thank you and I love you.

Articles on Still Standing have shown me I'm not alone and given me a sense of feeling like someone else just GETS it.  I often wonder if I'm the only one...and by reading these articles, I know I'm not.

Books have been another release.  I actually have a hard time reading fiction now.  I've just not really been into reading at all.  So I turn to non-fiction.  Truly, I'll be honest, I read a lot of self-help books.  Books on my PCOS and health.  Books on adoption and raising adopted kids.  And grief books.

My favorite book so far has been Empty Cradle Broken Heart (http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1555913024/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1381784165&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165).  Even Cam read it.  I felt like it shed so much light onto loss and understanding it.  And after multiple chemical pregnancies (early miscarriages), I had never felt like I could group miscarriage with my loss.  And although they are VERY different, the book also helped me see that type of loss as a loss, too.  I don't what else to say about the book, but I have gifted it to a couple of different friends who have lost since me and I know both of those friends have enjoyed it as well.  I would recommend it to anyone who has had a recent loss and plan to continue to gift it to friends and family who can benefit from it.

Reading...whether it's articles or books has helped me a lot.  Message boards have been another help.  Though I've stepped away from those some as it is too heartbreaking at times and brings back too many memories.  But I do have a small group of friends (though it seems to keep growing) that can relate and we connect on different levels.  That has been my biggest support.  Other moms who know what it's like.