I think I've mentioned it before that I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 13 weeks. They did early glucose screening due to the insulin resistance posed by my PCOS. I did the one hour and it was slightly elevated so then I did the 3 hour to receive my diagnosis. Fine, I wasn't too worried about it. I've been working on my diet for a very long time thanks to my PCOS and infertility. I've been meeting with nutritionists (of which I have yet to find one that I actually like) and cutting out sugars for almost three years. I haven't lost any weight, but I haven't gained any either. And I'm trying to make smarter food choices in general. I cut out soda almost completely with rare exception. I cut out almost all juice, too. And I even stopped eating ice cream every night after dinner. Big changes for me. But obviously not enough to keep me from having gestational diabetes.
When I was first diagnosed I met with a nutritionist...yet again, who told me the same stuff I've heard over and over. Though I do feel like I get some good pointers from the nutritionists, it's no where near what I need. I need a nutritionist who is going to sit down and hold me accountable for what I'm eating and teach me about the good and the bad of what I am eating and really give me the down low. Isn't that what they're supposed to be doing? Are my expectations just too high? I don't know. Anywho, that appointment was fine. No problems there. Then I got to meet with the diabetic counselor. Everyone told me how much I'd love her and she'd really help me and all this and that. I liked sitting down with her. She was informative and helpful. She showed me how to use my glucose monitor and all was well. She told me spreadsheets are fine if I want to e-mail her my test results after a week, which I did. I didn't hear anything. So then I waited 10 days and sent another spreadsheet and heard nothing. I e-mailed a third time and asked if she needed anything from me and she finally e-mailed me back with questions on my spreadsheet and apologizing because she had been on vacation. Okay, great, so she's getting my e-mails. Then she never responded again. I met with the doctor after my 18 week ultrasound and told him as far as what she had instructed my numbers seemed okay but that I hadn't heard from her and he didn't pay much mind. Then at my appointment on Tuesday, I finally got some feedback. The diabetic counselor is on vacation (again) and the nurse I met with said she'd take my spreadsheet and look at it for me. FINALLY someone who will give me some feedback hopefully!
So as a side-track, let's talk about this nurse that I met with Tuesday...totally insane...she came into the room and right away I could tell that hubby wouldn't like her. Then she started talking and was a total spaz. Loud, overbearing, overwhelming, and very annoying. Fine, but she's going to offer me answers finally! She answered all my questions and offered to have me send her my glucose measurements. Great!! Talking about the on the appointment for a minute...we heard both boys' heart beats loud and clear; I've gained 4 pounds (back, of the 7 I had lost at the beginning...weighing in at 3 pounds less than before I was preggers); and my blood pressure and heart rate were all normal. Yay!
Anyways, so yesterday (Weds), the nurse called me back after looking over my spreadsheet. She started the conversation asking me if I had been explained to about what gestational diabetes going uncontrolled meant and I said I had a general understanding. So then she proceeds to go on and on about all the risks, including the risk of death. Great, thanks, lady. I've been trying to get pregnant for three years. Oh yes, and she kept referring to my "baby"...obviously she didn't look at my chart before she called and didn't remember I'm having twins. To top it off, she never ONCE mentioned my PCOS. Okay, so really? This is the ONLY reason this is such a big issue (thank you, PCOS)...can we not acknowledge this? So then she doesn't give me any feedback on my numbers, but on eating consistently. Fine. But the way she went about it...HORRIBLE. She talked to me like I was a 16 year old who had no concept of what having children meant. She compared me not eating consistently to depriving my screaming child of food...basically saying if he was sitting in a high chair screaming I wouldn't not give him food. Okay, really? That's your analogy. I'm not eating when I'm not hungry...sooooo I'm not really sure how that applies....*sigh* She then proceeded to tell me how I needed to stop just thinking about me and start thinking about my babies and how this is going to prepare me to be a mom even before my babies are here. As I type this it doesn't sound as harsh as it did over the phone, but let me tell you...the way (and speed) at which she is talking like all this was crazy. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. It was just so overwhelming. There was never any acknowledgement that this is the first time I'm receiving feedback. Maybe if someone had talked to me a month ago about my blood sugar and eating consistently I could have had time to work on this, but no one has!! I spent the rest of the afternoon basically crying and not wanting to eat anything. It was horrible!!
Needless to say, I'm really struggling. My goal for this weekend is to make a meal plan and come up with ideas for quick, easy meals that I can have ready to eat either when or shortly after I get home. The nice part is that Cam will be off his FTO at his new job in a couple weeks so he can come home for dinner and I'm not just cooking for me. I tend to eat crappier when that's the case. :-S *sigh* I'm very frustrated and overwhelmed by gestational diabetes. I want to be a normal pregnant lady and just eat when I want, what I want, any time. I can't do that...two hours between everything I stick in my mouth and carb limits. All I want is a piece of freaken cake!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment