I'm sure many people are wondering why I'm not yelling from a roof top on FB about Ben or why I'm not posting more pictures...
When I was pregnant with the twins, we had decided that we would limit pictures of them on Facebook. This was for multiple reason. First, we had been that couple. Longing for a child and seeing ALL the pictures of everyone else's kids ALL day long. Hearing their posts and that was ALL they posted about. When all we longed for was to feel that same way. We have many friends struggling with fertility and we are limiting posts as much as we can for their sake. As well as the sake of the friends we have who have lost children and are still childless. It was SO difficult after we lost the twins to be on Facebook because all over it were these pictures of all these kids and all I could think is what would my babies look like? What would we be doing with our babies? It was too difficult. So we limit posts and pictures for that reason, too.
The second, and probably more important reason is privacy. Ours and Ben's. He has every right to grow up and not have everyone we're Facebook friends with know who he is in public. I know there is a lot of controversy on "stranger danger" versus "stranger anxiety" lately. In other words, teaching your kids that when you're lost, it's okay to talk to a stranger if it is a mom with kids (that's a new article I saw...makes sense, but not the point of this post really). But in our opinion, Ben deserves to have his privacy. He deserves to decide what pictures he wants the world to see. We share pictures of him privately with family and friends and the occasional private Facebook group. But our concerns surround sharing and copying of his picture with people we don't know. We know our own privacy settings (unless Facebook does all their stupid changes all the time!), but once we post pictures of him, what's to stop other people from posting pictures of him, too? Given Cam's profession, it just isn't a risk we're willing to take.
You will see the occasional photo that is from a distance, or where you can't really see his face, but we limit those pictures as much as possible. March of Dimes was definitely a point where I knew I would have to let go of a little bit of the comfort. I mean, really, he was one of the guests of honor, how could we say that there would be NO pictures of him. But those pictures are limited to more distant pictures or not clear pictures of his face. And that is my limit. If you want to see a picture of my child, you should be a close family member or friend, not someone we don't really know!
Believe me, this does NOT mean I do not take pictures of my child. The kid isn't even a year old and I have taken over 3,000. I am THAT crazy mom. But it means that we are choosing to enjoy those together as a family and with people who we control sees them and shares them.
It is our desire that our son choose his internet presence when he's old enough to make those decisions. We definitely still talk about him in the occasional post and raising him after losing Samuel and Andrew is definitely the point of this blog, but there are certain private things that I will not post. This blog is more about my journey raising him than it is about him, and he deserves a certain level of privacy that we will give him.
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