National Infertility Awareness Week

I realize it's been awhile since I've posted.  I'm feeling like such a slacker not getting things posted here, but I'm going to take a minute for a PSA on National Infertility Awareness Week.  If you follow me on Facebook, you will notice that I've posted there about it.  A MoM friend of mine was posting, and I definitely used her posts to help me out.  For over two years I didn't speak up.  I didn't talk about the fact that I was going through fertility treatments.  I kept it to myself...and cried by myself.  It's not fair.  Infertility is a disease.  It is a MEDICAL condition.  I still really hope to work with legislators to get it recognized as such in all FIFTY states, but that's something I'm still working on right now and will post more when I have more info!  For now, I am going to repost my facts from my Facebook page to here for my readers to see and for my friends and family to see all in one place.



Day 1:
Infertility is defined as the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after 12 months of trying to conceive. If you are over the age of 35, the time of trying to conceive is reduced to 6 months. It is important to see a specialist, or a Reproductive Endocrinologist, or in some cases your OB/Gyn or urologist for a complete fertility work-up and diagnosis.

Approximately one-third of infertility is attributed to the female partner, one-third attributed to the male partner and one-third is caused by a combination of problems in both partners. Sometimes there is no medical explanation for why a couple cannot conceive.

Day 2:
Only 15 states have laws requiring insurance for infertility treatments. Many of the states that require coverage have loopholes to allow employers to avoid providing coverage.

New Hampshire does not mandate coverage for fertility treatments. Over the course of four years, Camden and I have spent nearly $40,000 in fertility treatments.

With $40k you could:
- Put a sizable down payment on a house
- Buy a new electric car
- $40,000 is equal to the average person's annual income. People live a year on that amount of money.

How is it fair?

Day 3:
10 things you should not say to somebody suffering with infertility:

1.) Just adopt!
2.) Relax!
3.) It will happen in God's time.
4.) Maybe you're not meant to have kids.
5.) You could always do IVF.
6.) OMG I know how you feel it took me 5 months to get pregnant.
7.) Kids are a time suck.
8.) Get over it and move on.
9.) Think of all the traveling you can do!
10) Have you tried (Fill in the blank)

Feel free to add more...there are many more!

Along the lines of what to say to an infertile friend, lets discuss how to announce your pregnancy to an infertile friend.

Tell her yourself. Don't let her hear through the grapevine.
Tell her in a private way as soon as possible.
Give her space. She'll ask questions when she is ready.
Don't apologize.

Email may be the best way to go. "But that sounds so impersonal!" you might think. It's not. This allows her to process the news alone and how she sees fit. She'll call you when she is ready to talk. She will be happy for you, but she needs to be sad for herself first.

Day 4:
Yesterday we talked about what NOT to say to somebody suffering with infertility. Today, we will talk about what to say. It's quite simple.

"I have no idea what to say, but I am here for you if you need me." Only say this if you truly mean it.

"I am so sorry you have to go through this. Life can be so unfair."

"I hope it happens for you soon" (no empty promises like "It will happen one day" you can't predict the future.)

Be their ear. Be their shoulder. Never judge their decisions. Empathize. Validate their suffering. Keep inviting them to social events (even with kids). Remember them on Mother's day/Father's Day.

Day 5:
Secondary infertility refers to a couple's inability to conceive a baby, even though they've had at least one child in the past without assistance. More than 1 million couples deal with secondary infertility.

The most common explanations are these: A previously fertile partner is trying to have a child with a new spouse, or one or both partners in an existing relationship have developed fertility problems since their last child was conceived. For instance, a woman might have developed endometriosis (one of the most frequent causes of secondary infertility in women), irregular ovulation, or fallopian tube disease. Or a man might have had a decline in the concentration or motility of his sperm. Other factors can involve age (even five years can make a big difference in a woman's fertility cycle and a man's sperm count), scarring after childbirth, or stress, which can affect ovulation and sperm production.

Couples dealing with secondary infertility experience the same grief as a couple dealing with primary infertility. Having one (or more) child(ren) already does not minimize the pain of not being able to conceive again.

Day 6:Fertility treatments can be as "simple" as a medication to induce ovulation and timing intercourse to something as complicated as surrogacy or donor egg/sperm.

In-vitro fertilization - IVF involves retrieving mature eggs from a woman, fertilizing them with a man's sperm in a dish in a laboratory, and implanting the embryos in the uterus three to five days after fertilization.

Intrauterine insemination (IUI) is the placing of sperm into a woman's uterus when she is ovulating. IUI is often done in conjunction with ovulation-stimulating drugs.

No matter the treatment, nothing guarantees a baby. Much of the time, it takes several attempts to achieve pregnancy.

Day 7:
It's the last day of Infertility Awareness Week. Thank you all for listening to my facts...for taking the time to learn and understand what infertility means and how you can help. For a long time, I was quiet about it. If anything, I hope that this week has let you know that if you're suffering in silence, you are not alone. I am happy to be a resource and support to anyone who wants to reach out! If you have any questions as a result of any of my posts, please feel free to ask! No question is stupid! ♥ ♥ ♥