Why I've Been MIA

I've been enjoying motherhood.  The best I can when sleep deprived and working a 32-hour-per-week job.  But what I heard over and over and didn't want to listen to?  IT'S HARD WORK!!!

I'm overwhelmed.  That's maybe an understatement...I can't keep up with ANYthing.

Don't get me wrong, I'm loving every.single.minute.  But it's hard.  My house is a mess.  There are toys everywhere.  I want to veg and watch tv when he naps, so even on my weekends I don't get crap done.  I'm a hot mess, y'all.  So hence, the blog hasn't been happening.

But he's crawling, cruising, talking, and I'm loving him and everything about him.  He learns new things every day and I'm in awe of how amazing he is.  He's 100% right where he should be for his ACTUAL age developmentally.  How COOL is that?!?!  No preemie repercussions here (well except those finicky lungs...).

I catch myself asking what the heck I would have done if I had brought two special needs babies home like could have happened with the twins.  Then I regret even THINKING that.  I would have managed.  I wouldn't know any differently...but my life would have been SO different.  I just can't imagine anymore...but sometimes I can and sometimes I imagine I have 3 boys playing and talking and telling me stories...and I imagine my world completely different.  But how lucky am I?  I have three boys.  Two who changed me from my very core to be the best mom I can be to Ben.

So that's why I don't blog so much anymore...because I'm enjoying my rainbow each and every day...

But I do plan on coming back more often...my form of meditation...my health benefit...so that maybe I'm a little less of a hot mess...